Subject sorry, you know the drill
DateCreated 10/23/2007 8:52:00 PM
PostedDate 10/23/2007 8:45:00 PM
Body I don't know what the fuck to do.
For God's sake, I loved him. I still do. I don't know what the fuck to do. I want to get out of here, as far the fuck away from here as I can. I want to run from my problems. I want to never see his face again. I'm afraid if I ever have to look at him, I'll just cry. And it'll be that way forever.
I am so alone.
He's gone. I can't change that. But now there's nothing. All I have are school friends, and internet friends. Not any REAL friends. No, I'm too much of a pathetic little bitch to have those. Yea.
So my options are:
1. Spend all my time on the internet to keep from getting lonely
2. Keep texting my friend in Florida and hope that suffices
3. Get the fuck out of here
4. Try to make some real friends
5. Call Matt.

None of those work. The internet is not my friend. Stefan doesn't know me, he's far away, and venting can only get me so far. I can't leave until I graduate. I need to get into a college and get a plan. I can't make friends now; it's too late. I know who's here, and there are only so many options. And if I called Matt, he would most likely just laugh in my face and hang up.

what do I have to live for now?

I am a fucking loser.