Subject Ha. Ha.
DateCreated 11/27/2007 11:39:00 PM
PostedDate 11/27/2007 11:30:00 PM
Body I am so fucked up. I'm crying, like, really tears falling down my face crying. And I don't have time for it. I was supposed to finish this damn paper. I need to. I need to shower, to go to school tomorrow.
I keep putting this shit off. I hate it. I actually tried today. I would start, and then go to something else. And the longer I wait the bigger it seems, and I put it off more. I'm getting barely any sleep. But I just keep lying about it. Telling people I feel asleep on the couch (yea, you too) just cause I'm so ashamed of myself for wasting so much time. I mean, what the fuck?
I don't know if I'm just having a bad week, but I just can't pay attention to anything anymore. Not at all. I'm not learning anything in math. I'm not learning anything in half my classes. There are predictable ones were I know that if I write something down it will help me, but with a lot of them I just don't do it. I haven't opened my Government book of my Psychology book in forever, over the countless time I was supposed to take notes.
And I keep getting on the fucking internet, doing the stupidest things, just to fill up my time. And then I bitch about not having time, which I wasted myself. I leave school thinking "yea, today I'm going to get my homework done, I'm going to really try." Then maybe a few hours later I'm stuck behind some kind of screen saying "Oh, I have time."
I'm so fucking sad. I just keep crying and I want to think that maybe there is something wrong with me. But what if there isn't, what if I'm just fucked up? But I wonder if that counts or not... I just am hoping that this isn't all my fault somehow. I want to fix myself. I'm so fucking stressed out everyday now it seems.
I mean fuck.
It's 1 30 am, I need to finish my paper, take a shower, sleep, and hope I wake up in time to get to school. I'm on fucking myspace ranting ABOUT how I need to do these things.
I mean FUCK.