The way I feel today is the river the feeling that in the flowing of all things all things must end and become everything death as an ocean is so comforting yet the ice melting, river rising, body churning feeling grounds me loosely by a string to the cold March of reality the fear pulls me a foot to the right so my body isn’t right so my body isn’t where it has to be my body isn’t me ( the way my body never was me that way it has to be the way it isn’t look in the mirror and every time I think these things and put them away I mean it but no one else sees ) my eyes blink and water but it’s my mind that sees and in the corner of my mind there is a monstrous man who sits atop the river bed his body fits the contours of the curving endless banks his head is an anomaly that stares above the waves and he exists only to terrify me when he smiles there are a thousand flooding Niles in his face and all the miles in the world will not give me space to run he is a flood of memories I tried to wash away A love I lost but couldn’t place he is death, he is an escape, he was a time when my body was not my true face and he sits in the river and he waits for my embrace